Dyslexic Dorks Don't Exist
by BlitzPrinzessin
Summary: Rachel has this eensy weensy suspicion about one Sam Evans, and she wants to put the pieces together, even if it involves befriending him to get the answer to the question that keeps nagging at her brain.
1. You, Gossiping? About Evans? Ha

**Okay hi. :D This isn't my first fanfic, but it's my first Glee fic, and it's about my OTP, Sam/Rachel.**

**Pairings in this are as follows: Sam/Rachel (friendship, possible relationship? :P), Santana/Artie/Brittany, Kurt/Blaine/Karofsky (because I clearly love love triangles), Mike/Tina, Finn/Quinn, Puck/Lauren, mentioned Tina/Artie, mentioned Finn/Rachel, mentioned Sam/Quinn, mentioned Puck/Quinn, mentioned Kurt/Sam (in passing), mentioned Mercedes/tots (lol,i kid). :D**

**This is just a silly suspicion I've had since Duets, and plus, since Sam's changed so much and tried to hide so much of his personality, maybe he tried to hide his brains? No offense to dorks who actually are dyslexic, go bitch to Rachel instead. Reviews are nice, because I want to see if this story is going okay and if I should continue; no one wants to continue a story no one reads or likes. Thanks!**

**And yeah, it's short. I have writing ADD. xD**

**-BASED ON EVERYTHING UP TO A NIGHT OF NEGLECT, _WITH THE SPOILERS FOR ANoN (lol, anon) PUT IN HERE. And by that, I just wanted an excuse to use Kurt. :)_**

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><p>Or, more specifically, they didn't to Rachel Berry.<p>

And this had everything to do with one Samuel Evans.

The blonde jock was a mystery to Rachel, something as confusing as Finn's willingness to forgive Quinn so easily (not that she _cared _anymore or anything…) He claimed he was dyslexic and had trouble with reading and his grades, but many times she's seen him with astronomy books thicker than Finn's skull (once again… not that she was still mad at Finn, he just seemed like a good example at the moment).

Sam was a pretty dorky jock as well; the whole Glee club knew that from the first time he quoted Dr. Seuss. _Why doesn't he just express himself?_ Rachel thought, huffing in a true diva manner as she focused her thoughts on something that finally wasn't related to her ex, this time being the blonde enigma. _Samuel's on the football team, after all. Wouldn't that give him a pardon from harassment?_

_And,_ another thought struck Rachel, _he got a perfect score on his English test._ The brunette diva sat right behind Sam in English, so once the grades were handed back and he lifted up a 100% she noted it with a surprised look. _That must be why he was in such a hurry to put it away, especially with Artie looking to see what he got_, she mused.

It was like an itch that wouldn't go away: annoying, but something you can live with, even though putting it to the back of your mind would drive you nuts. Her curiosity about Sam Evans's dyslexia pushed all other thoughts out of her head. Rachel was that curious.

The brunette diva was only jolted out of her thoughts when Kurt slid into the seat next to hers in the library, beaming at his friend. "Hi," the soprano sang out, looking more comfortable back at McKinley than he ever did at Dalton, even with the Karofsky issue. "Hello, Kurt. I'm very pleased to see you back at McKinley **where you belong**, how are you doing without Blaine?" Kurt snickered at Rachel's sentence as she gasped for breath.

"I'm fine without Blaine," he grinned at her, "unlike a certain someone who dated a certain brother of mine."

There was an awkward pause in the air, with Rachel showing no emotion, and Kurt frowning slightly, afraid he hurt her feelings, "look, Rachel, I'm sorry." "Hmmm?" she murmured, flashing him a lazy grin. "Oh, no need, Kurtie, I wasn't thinking of Finn."

Kurt shot her a weird look and she winked, jerking a thumb at Sam, who was sitting by himself at a table behind the pair, nose in one of his many astronomy books. "You're interested in _Sam Evans_?" Kurt whispered loudly, causing the bottle blonde to lower his book and glance around as if thinking someone was calling him.

"No, Kurt, shut up!" Rachel's face was turning bright red as the diva sunk lower in her chair to avoid attention. "It's not him I'm interested in," she whispered, "it's his dyslexia. "Oh?" "Look at the book he's reading." The blonde was still looking at them, confused, so when Kurt leaned over, he got a suspicious look, which he replied to with a single wave. Sam shrugged and hid behind his book, the title talking about constellations or some other crap like that.

"That book is thicker than Blaine's souvenir yearbook," Kurt mused. Rachel raised an eyebrow. "What?" she asked. He giggled. "Blaine combines each of his yearbooks so the product ends up thicker than a normal kid's textbook. I don't know why a kid with dyslexia is reading **that**."

Giggles were heard from the bookshelf next to their table and Santana showed herself with a wink. "Porcelain, Berry," she said casually, "was that Trouty Mouth I heard you two talking about?" She smirked at Kurt's deer-in-the-headlights look and continued. "Sorry, Porcelain, but I'm afraid that, even though him and I broke up, you two won't be 'kumming' anytime soon."

"Santana!" Kurt hissed. "I'm dating Blaine! Blaine!" She laughed, and after catching Rachel's bewildered expression, the ex-cheerleader nearly doubled over. "So anyways, Berry," Santana mused, grinning for the first time that they had seen in ages, "what about Lady Lips has your panties in a knot?"

Rachel glanced at the blonde boy, who was watching Finn and Quinn flirting. The Glee club was _supposed_ to be looking for songs popularized on the internet, but most of them spent the time chatting with friends… or in Mike and Tina's case, making out like there was no tomorrow. "His dyslexia," the diva admitted.

Kurt blinked as Santana snorted. "Why are you even talking to us?" he asked her. "You hate the both of us." "A. Shut the hell up, Porcelain, I don't hate you, I hate losing my rep. And since my rep can't plummet when the club is the only population here, I'm sort of nice. B. Berry, what the hell's with that? He doesn't have dyslexia!"

Both teens in front of the Latina wore obvious surprise as she smirked once again. "What?" Santana asked. "Have you seen that kid's grades? They're better than mine, and I'm a fucking genius!" She grinned at the two of them as Mr. Schue walked in.

"Haven't any of you teenagers been looking for a song?" he asked exasperatedly, snapping his phone shut (most likely just got off the phone with Miss Holliday, Rachel noted.) Brittany grinned at him from her place on Artie's lap.

"I call Friday!" she told the confused teacher, looking at her boyfriend who patted her hand. "It totally helped me learn some of the days of the week!" "Mr. Schue," Mercedes called, one of the few people actually _looking things up online_, "most songs were popularized online. Haven't you ever heard of YouTube?"

Mr. Schue scoffed and ran a hand through his (very curly) hair. "Fine, Mercedes," he sighed, "I'll change it. You have to pick a song popularized by a movie. Better?" The whole club nodded as Rachel looked back at Sam curiously. _What is up with this kid?_ she thought curiously. "Santana," she whispered, "do you mind if I actually get to know Sam and ask him about this?"

The Latina grinned. "I'm cool, bitches. Putting all my time trying to get Britt away from Wheels, but," she leaned close and glared at Rachel and Kurt, "you tell anyone that and I'll kill you. My dad's a doctor, I have the supplies." They both gulped and nodded.

"I know," Kurt grinned at Rachel. "Sing a song from that movie, Avatar. That'll get him talking." Santana winked. "Or better yet, do it in crazy midget fashion and storm up to him demanding answers. That works too."


	2. Awkward Friendship Starts Awkward

**OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU ALL. :D **

**Thank you so much for the positive reviews, it made me really happy. I'm trying to write a book, actually, and people telling me I can write fanfiction well is a pretty good confidence booster for the original fiction. :)**

**Someone pointed out that the text is oddly spaced, which I apologize for. That's always been my weak point in writing... **

**And, er, sorry this is so short, u gaiz. Writing at 1 AM really does stuff to your brain.**

**So enjoy the Samchel/EvanBerry awesomeness in this silly, OOCish chapter.**

**And if it gets _too_ OOC, or just pretty OOC at all, please tell me. OOC characters are one of my biggest pet peeves.**

**Thanks for reading, and enjoy. :D**

**...Gosh, I had something I wanted to say, but I forgot...**

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><p>When Sam looked up from writing in his notebook, he saw Rachel Berry standing over him and staring.<p>

He glanced down uncomfortably at the dark scribbles on his paper, many of them dark words about Cheerios, two in particular, and a certain football player with two left feet.

The two were in the choir room, the petite brunette for once towering over someone, since the 6 foot jock was slumped over.

"Hello, Samuel."

Rachel offered Sam a quick smile and pulled a chair over so she could sit next to him. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

He, gaping in confusion at why Rachel freaking Berry was talking to him, a guy she had barely spoken to five words to, nodded. The tiny diva smiled and crossed her legs, eyes hovering over the angry pencil lines on Sam's paper.

"It's about your dyslexia, actually," she said. "Are you sure you **have** it?" Sam scowled. "Of course I have it; I think I would know myself!" Rachel rolled her eyes at his response. "I sit behind you in English, Samuel. I see your grades when you get them back. You carry astronomy books thicker than Finn's abnormally thick skull," Sam let out a small smile at that comment, "and Santana even mentioned that she never knew you had it."

She took a breath and his smile grew wider. "You done?" Sam asked. When Rachel nodded, he sighed. "I've got a lot of things people question, Rachel. Can I leave it at that?" She opened her mouth to push him further, but the look on his face made the words die in her mouth.

"…On a totally different note now, Samuel…"

Sam glanced up from where he was, once again, doodling, at the tiny brunette who scooted a bit closer to him. "There's a movie theater nearby that shows popular movies even after they've left the theater. Avatar is their next one." Rachel paused to let the words she already said sink in before she asked her question. Sam's face lit up at the word "Avatar."

"Really?" he asked. She laughed. "Really. Anyways, since you clearly love the movie so much and you look like you could use a friend, I was wondering if you'd like to see it together before the movie changes." The diva smiled once more. "And if you don't mind, I was hoping to learn some Na'vi. I want to audition for Neytiri in Avatar on Ice, and learning the language would help, so…"

As she finished her sentence, Sam's small smile turned into a full grin. "Really?" he asked again. "I'd love to go!" Rachel giggled at his enthusiasm, and he turned pink. "Well, c'mon, it's Avatar!" Sam said defensively. "And plus," his smile grew wider, "I could really use a friend."

The two of them grinned at each other, and Rachel offered Sam her hand. "Friday, then?" she asked, pulling him up and out of his chair. "We can go right after school." He nodded. "I don't have football then, so it sounds great!"

She pulled him towards the door, glancing back to ask "have you given your Glee assignment any thoughts?" Sam wrinkled his nose as he got dragged along. "None. I know Puck's considering screwing the assignment- oh, not _literally, _Rachel, that makes no sense- but he's got a song in mind."

They reached the door, and Rachel let go of Sam's hand to turn to him again. "What's his song?" she asked. "Let me just tell you, it's kind of crass… and catchy."

Noticing that her mouth was opening to bug him more, Sam was quick to speak. "Leave it, Rachel," he laughed, "I don't want to give it away. What about your song?"

The two left the choir room right before lunch ended, with Rachel chattering a mile a minute about her song. Hidden by the bookcases, Santana and Kurt high-fived each other.

"Operation PEDOBEAR is a go!" the Latina cheered. Kurt snickered. "I know that you like to call them Barbra and Bieber," he muttered, "but do you really have to call our mission PEDOBEAR?"

Santana winked. "It stands for "Please Evans, Don't Overlook Berry, Everyone Always Realizes."

"That doesn't make sense."

"It will in the end, Porcelain. Now shut up! We have following to do!"

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><p><strong>Heehee~<strong>

**And before anyone asks, I actually have a whole song playlist on my iPod called "Samchel Fanfic, so I know what's going to be sung. _ESPECIALLY_ Puck's song. :D**

**And I have a good idea for Brittany's, too. And Sam's. I might have him do a forced duet with Finn... what do you guys think?  
><strong>


	3. Oh, Music, How I Love You

Thanks for reading, you guys. :) Chapter 3 is spaced out into three days, since I never really pointed out what days the other chapters took place.

Any typos are courtesy of my keyboard and the fact Word doesn't pick up on them for some odd reason...

And I'm sorry if the spacing is still odd. I'm trying to work on it. o3o

Other than that, I hope you enjoy! :D

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><p><strong>WEDNESDAY<strong>

Friday was taking forever to get there.

And it had absolutely nothing to do with Brittany promising to use "Friday" as her Glee assignment. She said that the music video was like a "cute little movie with cute kids in middle school driving a cute car and having cute parties on Friday… which is a cute day for having cute dates and more cute parties and maybe even cute makeout sessions with Artie."

'_Only when you really want something to happen_,' Rachel thought during lunch, _'it takes forever to actually start.'_ She took a bite of her apple, and deeming it rotten, spat the contents still in her mouth into her hand.

"Ew, babe, that's not very attractive."

Puck slid into the seat across from Rachel and winked at her. "How's my hot Jewish American princess doing?" he asked casually. "I heard you've got a date with Evans Friday."

Brittany turned around from her table, and smiling, started to sing. "Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!" she chirped as Santana plopped down to Rachel.

"Britts," she begged, "please stop." Brittany tilted her head in confusion. "But San, I thought you liked going down on Friday… sweet lady kisses, yum!"

The Latina's face was bright red as Rachel and Puck both snickered, and Artie, gaping, looked at his girlfriend. "What?" he asked. The blonde turned to her boyfriend with a guilty expression on her face. "…It's not cheating, Artie," she promised him. "I would never do that to you. I just love my sweet lady kisses!"

Rachel grimaced. "She's really not helping her situation, is she?" she murmured under her breath. Santana shot her friend a quick glare before turning back to watch what she hoped would break Bartie up and leave room for Brittana.

Artie shook his head in disgust. "No comment, Brittany," he snapped, and wheeled away. Brittany pouted and went to chase after her boyfriend, apologizing and making comments about sweet lady kisses.

Puck burst out laughing as soon as the couple left. "That," he spat out between giggles, "was effing hilarious. And as I was saying, Berry, hot date with Evans Friday?"

Santana grinned. "They're watching Avatar, Puckerman. Hardly a hot date." Rachel smiled at her. "Thank you for that, Sant-"

"Yet!" Santana added quickly, cutting Rachel off, who pouted. "I've barely spoken to him before this week," she complained, "what makes you think it's a date?"

Both Puck and Santana shot her disbelieving looks, and then simultaneously pointed to Finn and Quinn, making out at their table.

"That's repulsive," Kurt complained, pulling a chair up. "Sorry I'm late guys, I got a little caught up talking to Blaine on the phone." He glanced at his two female friends… and Puck, and smiled. "What did I miss?"

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><p><strong>THURSDAY<strong>

Almost there. Friday was almost there!

The only thing Rachel found important on Thursday was that it was usually the day Puck performed during Glee. And Puck happened to be, in her opinion, an excellent singer.

She was the first one to get to Glee, again, and was excited to sit with the friends she had made in the past week.

Kurt arrived first, and the soprano sat next to her, demanding the details from Wednesday's lunch.

Santana arrived next and made some helpful contributions to the story after she picked the seat behind Rachel.

Sam was third, and though she hadn't talked to him since they made their plans for Friday, her heart skipped a beat when she saw the blonde.

Giving him a thousand watt smile, Rachel patted the seat next to her, which he gladly took. "Thanks for saving me a seat, Rachel," he said to her.

The two engaged in friendly chitchat about their movie night Friday while Santana and Kurt exchanged smug looks and the rest of the club entered. Many were confused to see the group of four sitting together.

"Wait a second," Lauren muttered after she sat down, chewing on a chocolate bar, "where's Puckerman? I thought he was singing today."

Artie, sitting far away from his girlfriend, who kept shooting him longing looks, shrugged. "He was supposed to. Dentention?" he suggested.

Quinn, holding Finn's hand, rolled her eyes. "Knowing Puck, he probably took it up a notch and got expelled or put in juvie again or **something**." At this comment, Finn snickered, staring at her with a dopey, lovey-dovey expression.

"Excuse me while I barf," Santana whispered loudly. "Frankenteen and the Ice Queen? No matter how much I look at them together, I still want to puke up the contents of my lunch."

They both glared at Santana, who avoided a confrontation by focusing on Puck, who just walked in.

"Sorry I'm late, Mr. Schue," he said sheepishly. "I was arguing with the lunch lady because she got mad when I brought tater tots in today to snack on."

Mercedes, still loving her potatoes, straightened up at the word 'tots', and Mr. Schue nodded, although he gave Puck a weird look.

"I'm ready to perform!" the badass Jew exclaimed. He glanced at Brad and shrugged. "Sorry, dude, I'd suggest staying away from this song. I got music for it." The piano player nodded, but refused to get up from his bench.

Puck pressed a button on an object, something Rachel guessed was a CD player… he was blocking it from view… and music began playing. Did she know this song?

Sam did. He grinned and nudged her. "Like I said," he whispered, "crass but catchy."

Standing in front of his Glee Club, Puck began singing a split second after the music started, while Sam was talking to Rachel. The song just started that soon.

_I mean, what can I say?_

_Three babies in the back seat singing to you,_ he pointed at Rachel, who giggled, Lauren, who scowled, and Santana, who simply burst out laughing.

_Hey, DJ, won't you play that song for me?_

_And my hom- and my homies all singin' to it…_

_3OH!... 3OH!3._

_**I aint callin' for a close up**_

_**No clubs, no cars, bitches with their nose jobs**_

_**No dubs, no stars**_

_**I'ma do it how I always have**_

_**Whiskey in a 40 bag**_

_**Pissin' in the alleyway out back where the party's at**_

_**I'ma spend it on a new whip, new hat, new kicks**_

_**Bitches with their huge tits, new gat, new slips. **_Rachel curled her lip at this part and glanced at Sam, who was lipsyncing along. "I told you it was crass," he laughed.

_**I'ma do it how I always do:**_

_**Sleeup until the break of noon**_

_**Wakin' just to make it through another night of shakin' you**_

_I mean, what can I say?_

_Three babies in the back seat singin' to you_

_Hey, DJ, won't you play that song for me?_

_And turn it up on your radio_

_I got 200 seconds and I'm ready to go_

_I mean, what can I say?_

_Three babies in the back seat singin' to you_

_Hey, DJ, won't you play that song for me?_

_And turn it up on your radio_

_I got 200 seconds and I'm ready to go_

_**I aint signin' on a new lease**_

_**No cooks, no keys**_

_**Models with their nose bleeds**_

_**White lace, gold beads**_

_**I'ma run it like a marathon**_

_**Party til' I'm 50**_

_**Wake up on my parents' lawn**_

_**Them cops still out to get me**_

_**And I aint sippin' on a mixed drink**_

_**Pinkie out, lips pink**_

_**Talking to a rich skank, filled up like a sperm bank. **_Kurt pointed at Santana, who slapped him playfully.

_**I'ma go where I always go**_

_**Drinks are on the house**_

_**Whiskey's on the rocks while**_

_**Your sister's on my mouth**_

_I mean, what can I say?_

_Three babies in the back seat singin' to you_

_Hey, DJ, won't you play that song for me?_

_And turn it up on your radio_

_I got 200 seconds and I'm ready to go_

_I mean, what can I say?_

_Three babies in the back seat singin' to you_

_Hey, DJ, won't you play that song for me?_

_And turn it up on your radio_

_I got 200 seconds and I'm ready to go_

Sam clapped twice. "Is he done?" Rachel whispered while Puck took a quick breath. Sam shook his head. "Nah, this is just my favorite part."

_And if I was a Richman_

_I'd never been to sea_

_Could I take you anyways,_

_Would you come with me, baby?_

_And if I was a sick man_

_I'd never meant to be_

_Would you love me anyways,_

_And would you marry me?_

_I mean, what can I say?_

_Three babies in the back seat singin' to you_

_Hey, DJ, won't you play that song for me?_

_And turn it up on your radio_

_I got 200 seconds and I'm ready to go_

_I mean, what can I say?_

_Three babies in the back seat singin' to you_

_Hey, DJ, won't you play that song for me?_

_And turn it up on your radio_

_I got 200 seconds and I'm ready to go_

_I mean, what can I say?_

_Three babies in the back seat singin' to you_

_Hey, DJ, won't you play that song for me?_

_And turn it up on your radio_

_I got 200 seconds and I'm ready to go_

_I mean, what can I say?_

_Three babies in the back seat singin' to you_

_Hey, DJ, won't you play that song for me?_

_And turn it up on your radio_

_I got 200 seconds and I'm ready to go._

Puck stopped singing and grinned cockily. "Puck," Mr. Schue started, "that was _excellent_, but, um, was it in any movies?"

"That shouldn't count," Quinn complained. "It was **so** not in anything."

Smirking, Puck turned to Quinn. "Shut your yap, Quinnie." He then turned to Mr. Schuester and shrugged. "Well yeah, Schue, it wasn't in a movie, but I like this song, and besides, I just ignored something pretty much everyone in this school does."

"Which is what?" "Continuity."

Sam, Rachel, Kurt, Santana, and Lauren all laughed at that comment. Mike and Tina both grinned, and even Artie managed a weak smile. Quinn, however, was fuming at the fact he dissed her… and was it just her, or was **her** Finn staring at Rachel?

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><p><strong>FRIDAY<strong>

Finally. _Finally_.

School was over, Glee ended, and it was time to see Avatar with Sam. Cute lipped, trouty mouthed, boy-she-had-barely-spoken-to-before-this-week Sam. Who made her heart flutter in a way Rachel had never felt before. She didn't understand it.

Her main goal was to be his friend, because he needed one. And a side goal was to uncover the truth about his dyslexia. Right?

'_Jeez, I'm getting as weird as cousin Bree when she crushes on some jock she's never talked to,'_ Rachel thought, sighing.

She grabbed her backpack and strolled out to the parking lot, where she saw Sam staring at an old, beat up truck. "Is that yours?" Rachel asked him. He smiled and nodded, and opened the passenger seat door. "Ladies first," he told her, clicking his tongue.

The two of them were seated in his car, while Rachel was plugging directions into the GPS she loaned him. As soon as she put it back up where he could see it, Sam started the truck up and they were on their way to the movies.

"How about some music?" he asked with a smile, turning the radio on.

3OH!3's Richman came pouring out of the speakers, making both present start laughing. "That song is now following me everywhere," Rachel complained. "I heard it as a ringtone no less than three times today. Three, Sam!"

He smiled. "Well if someone has it as their ringtone during Avatar, you can yell at them for not turning it off during such a masterpiece." The two grinned at each other. "Right," Rachel agreed.

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><p>Song is "Richman" by 3OH!3. For those of you who made guesses, you're all wrong. Haha. ;D<p>

It's actually my favorite song. Iunno why. I just love it. 3 Catchy.

And why yes, that was me making a cameo as 'cousin Bree.' Yes, I do crush on jocks I barely/never talk to. c: I'm just odd like that. I hope you guys liked!

Also, the actual trip to the movies is chapter 4. Sorry this took so long to write. My muse was taking forever to inspire me. /.../


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